“I love you Daddy. You are my friend.” This is what Evie said to me today on her fourth birthday. My heart melted. Frankly, I needed to hear that. It’s been a rough week. Evie, bless her heart, has gone through a week full of tantrums and bad sleep. We had heard from some parents that three is much worse than the “terrible twos”, which I think Eileen and I can agree that is a true statement in regards to Evie. She has really come a long way this past year. She started a new school, got her first bike, moved to a new house, and started showing signs of real independence in areas she had previously resisted. There are times when I look at her and think “wow, she’s really growing up.” And then there are times I think “will she ever grow up?” She seems to have chosen her last week of being a three year to regress and drive us mad. But today was lovely.
Evie has always been high spirited. Her emotions have always run deep. She can drive you up the wall and then make you realize what life is all about in an instant. I love that little girl so much.
Today was clearly an important day to Evie. She said some interesting things. While talking on the phone to aunt Katie she said “three year olds push but four year olds don’t push.” Then later in the day, after we had talked a lot about turning four, she asked me “am I going to die soon?” This nearly floored me. What was she thinking to have asked this question and how do I respond? Last night she overheard Eileen and I talking about the passing of Elizabeth Edwards. We had also previously explained to her that a friend’s dog had died because he got old. Getting old makes you die. This is surely the thought process that was going through Evie’s mind. I tried to assure her that she is very young and that I and Eileen are very young and none of us would be dying for a very long time. I also explained to her that some people believe that when people die they are reborn and become a baby again. This seemed to cheer her up.
Evie, you are a wonder. You’re inquisitive mind and sensitive soul touch me deeply every day. I am so very much in love with you darling. You are my friend too.
I love asking Evie how old she is: she looks at her hands, fans out her fingers one at a time and counts them: “one, two, three, four.” All day today when I was charting at work I found myself writing “12/9/06,” the day she was born, one day after her due date. It’s amazing how much she’s evolved as a person in that time. For the most part, I’m happy to watch them get older–they get more interesting as they become the little people they’re going to be. But now, with my oldest 4 yrs old–no longer a toddler– I find I’m wishing it could slow down a bit. She’ll always be my baby, but she’s not a baby anymore–I think she officially became a Little Kid today. I absolutely adore her.